Want To Adopt A Dog? Here’re 15 Reasons Why To Avoid German Shepherds At All Costs

Updated January 9, 2018

Adopting a dog can vastly improve your level of happiness in life. Dogs provide endless fun and boundless companionship. They’re loyal and downright fabulous. Even if you’re not a dog person, you’re bound to fall in love with any canine you have close contact with for long enough. Unless that dog was raised wrong, they’re probably going to be good with you and your family.

But German Shepherds come with a whole other set of precautions. And if you’re thinking about adopting a German Shepherd, we encourage you to take the following 15 “warnings” very, very, VERY seriously.

  1. From the moment of birth, German shepherds are dangerous killers.

Never trust a German shepherd, especially when they’re cute, seemingly harmless newborn puppies. That’s when they’re most deadly.

  1. When they’re puppies, watch your back.

Although they may be cute, German shepherd puppies are murderous.

  1. Other animals cannot stand to be around them.

German shepherds are loners who never get along with other animals. Beware.

  1. Never trust a German shepherd around kids.

While you might have heard how protective they are toward their family, do not believe the fake news.

  1. Other dogs hate them.

Do not even think about mingling your German shepherd with another canine. All heck will break loose.

  1. They never relax.

German shepherds will keep you up all night long with their raucousness.

  1. They’ll never cooperate.

Do not even think about putting them in a sweater or a holiday outfit.

  1. They’re ugly.

German shepherds are just not enjoyable to look at, let alone keep in your house.

  1. They will ruin your home.
  2. They refuse to travel.

If you hope to take your German shepherd somewhere, even just across town to the park, you’re going to be in for a nightmare. You won’t believe how inconvenient they are.

If you enjoy having things, forget about it if you want a German shepherd. Having things just won’t be possible.

  1. They’re pure evil.

Just look at them! Their evil eyes! Evil only begins to describe them.

  1. Forget cuddling? They hate it.

German shepherds will never allow you to touch them. They might even get violent if you go in to pet them.

  1. Every face they make looks mean.

Even if a German shepherd were capable of smiling, its face would still look ferocious. I’m shaking in my boots.

  1. As they age, they become more vicious.

When most dogs get older, they mellow out and become slower and gentler. Much like Benjamin Button, German shepherds do the opposite. They start out vicious, and they end vicious. That’s a fact!

  1. You should never, NEVER, never get a German shepherd.

Your life will be ruined. No matter how tempted you may be, simply do not do it.

Please Note: As I’m sure you were able to discern, this article was written in jest to satirize the misconception that German shepherds are inherently vicious dogs. German shepherds can make excellent family pets. Don’t believe everything you read.

Do you know a German shepherd or a family that has one?